Communicating Productively in Challenging Times
All of us have had a very challenging year and a half dealing with COVID-19 and its rippling effects. It has brought so very many changes to our lives–losing family members and friends to coronavirus, getting sick, Having to deal with the virus at work in a medical facility or school, learning new computer skills for work and helping children with school, having to miss family reunions and numerous social functions, missing worship. The lists keep going.
Most people took the disease seriously and cooperated by wearing masks and getting vaccines when they became available. The pandemic brought us disease that had not been seen in the United States for over 100 years, when about 675,000 Americans died in the influenza epidemic. We still are dealing with the effects of COVID-19, with over 43,500,000 Americans having been infected with the virus, and more than 700,000 have died. Most Americans have survived and even thrived, but it has hit our country very hard.
Communication has suffered in this time as many things have been politicized, causing rifts in families and communities, even in school and religious communities. How can we respectfully speak with each other when we disagree so much, even on what the facts are?
Perhaps the most important parts of relationships are the attitudes and actions of the people involved. The things we say, the way we say them, and the way we treat each other say a lot about our relationships. In every relationship it is important that each person respect the other persons as valuable human beings. In families it is essential that spouses respect each other, that parents respect their children, that children respect their parents, and that children respect each other. It is also important that respect and love be demonstrated in the language and behavior used in each interaction.
Probably the best way to show respect and love is by listening–really listening–to another person. Sometimes it may be necessary to stop doing something important to you, and make eye contact to show that it is important to you to hear what she/he has to say. Another way to urge the person to go on is to echo or repeat a phrase you heard.
Talking about things persons have accomplished shows how much you value the relationships and that you are proud of those things. Using positive words to describe behaviors can help people develop good feelings about themselves and about their relationships with you. Listening and responding with positive comments may help a person feel better and happier after talking with you. We hope that you are building good relationships with improved communication.
Mediation Services of Adams County has trained mediators available to help you work through strained family relationships, neighbor disputes, or other conflicts for an economical fee based on income. If you would like more information about Mediation, please contact Mediation Services of Adams County at 717-334-7312, mediationac@yahoo.com or check out our website, http: //www.mediateadams.org.
Mary Kay Turner is a retired teacher who is also a board member, volunteer mediator and trainer for Mediation Services of Adams County.