Message in the Spirit of Gratitude

by Maggie Baldwin

January 16, 2021

Our November message comes to you in the spirit of gratitude!  Thanks to everyone who supported Mediation Services of Adams County in the recent Giving Spree!  We missed seeing you in person this year and we appreciate your support!  Contributions made last year helped to make possible virtual mediation services during the pandemic crisis for those who needed assistance.  This year’s contributions will continue to support healthy conflict resolution in Adams County.

I’d like to share something for which I am grateful.  At the beginning of the pandemic and during quarantine, my husband and I had a conversation with our children.  We said that we had never anticipated having the opportunity to spend this kind of time with them and that we hoped we could all approach it with open minds and hearts and make the best of the situation. Our children are now 16 and 13, and I’m sure that other ‘parents of teenagers’ know what we just asked of our children and what their likely response might have been.  Miraculously, they listened, and we did that – we ate three meals a day together around the table, put our best feet forward and really enjoyed being together.  For those precious moments in time, I am truly grateful.

Then, we muddled through different color phases of the pandemic and chose the virtual learning option this fall.  That hasn’t gone as well as I had hoped, and I’m anxiously waiting to send our children back to school soon.  However, I’m an optimist and I want to share a recent observation.  Like many parents, I’ve had the opportunity to see more of what my children are learning in school than what I might have under normal circumstances.  Recently, I was helping my 8th grader with her health class. The chapter was all about effective communication in relationships.  For all the talk we hear about what our children are not learning in school, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that they are acquiring important life skills.

I didn’t have this opportunity when I was in school.  It was much later in my professional life that I learned actual skills to communicate effectively.  The health chapter taught the importance of tone, body language and the use of “I” messages, which are techniques used to give people feedback in a non-threatening and non-accusatory manner.  Used often in mediation, they are statements designed to help open the door of communication instead of slamming it shut.

Along those same lines, it’s worth mentioning that my kids had the advantage of learning peer mediation skills in fourth grade at St. Francis.  A significant portion of conflicts arise from simple misunderstanding or misinformation.  By learning early how to communicate effectively, young people have a good chance of avoiding many conflicts.  These trained fourth graders were given leadership positions at recess to apply these skills.  How empowering!

As a parent, I’m pleased that my children have had such opportunities!  If, like me, you missed out on such experiences and want to improve your communication and conflict resolution skills, you should explore the MSAC website:  www.mediateadams.org   We offer mediation services for those who need help navigating a situation, as well as conflict coaching and annual mediation training.

This entry was posted in Posts on January 16, 2021.

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Mediation on a Grand Scale

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When You’re Sure You’re Right